Microaggressions frequently occur all around us. Just this week, I have witnessed countless microaggressions in the media as well as in my work environment. Just this week, I was at a home with a new mom and we were discussing her own relationship with her mom. At some point she made the comment that she does not want her mom to have another child with her current boyfriend. When I asked why she was saying this, she said that it was because the baby would be Arabic. She did say that she would love the baby because it would be her sibling, however she does not want her sibling to be Arabic. Thinking about tis course, I was kind of taken back because I never would have thought we would be having this conversation. Because of my role, I wanted to focus on how the mom would feel about this affecting her ability to take care of her own baby. This conversation lead us back to her own abilities as a parent and we left the microaggression alone. The hidden message that I noticed here was that her sibling would not be equal to her because it would be of Arabic heritage.
It is difficult to bring out a full conversation on how different races or cultures would affect this mom in her abilities to take care of her own child when I only have an hour to visit with her (my program limits visits to about an hour to allow time for each family). I wanted to dig deeper into her thoughts but it is my job to focus on the new baby in the home and to help this mom understand child development. With this instance in mind, this course has opened my mind to the various ways microaggressions occur everywhere and are not always directed at one individual but can be felt by many with just one statement. I hope I may approach this topic with the mother again when I may tie it into the child's social development. The strength I have on my side in this instance is that I have built a trusting relationship with this family so that I can hopefully revisit the effects of prejudice and discrimination on a child in the future visits.
Thank you for sharing this experience. I have had a similar experience that included me. My daughter just had a baby boy whose father is African American. When I first found out I think I was more scared. But really i think I was judging. It took deep reflecting for me to come to the conclusion that it is alright. And it is! I think that we are taught sometimes to not like or judge. I see noting wrong with this. It is just going to expand my knowledge and experience of the world. I just hope I have the right words when my grandson start asking questions about himself and if he is questioned how I can support him. This week the readings and the postings have been most beneficial.
ReplyDeleteTerri:
ReplyDeleteYou are so right when you eluded to the fact that when and if your grandson starts questioning things about himself, you have to be open and honest with him. Your post really gave me insight into the fact that people honestly do feel how they feel, and have no qualms about putting how they think into the atmosphere. Thank you for an insightful post.
Vernanna